No pain, no gain.

Pain.

According to the National Institutes of Health pain "...is a feeling triggered in the nervous system. [It] may be sharp or dull. It may come and go, or it may be constant. You may feel pain in one area of your body, such as your back, abdomen or chest or you may feel pain all over, such as when your muscles ache from the flu."

They go on to describe that pain can be beneficial, as it helps you identify and treat a problem which may have otherwise gone unnoticed.  Once the root cause is addressed though, the pain usually goes away.

Wonderful.

You may be wondering, "Why is Elder Horowitz talking about pain right now?"

I thought you would never ask.

I have had the opportunity to experience pain over the past couple of weeks.

No, not a spiritual pain for the sins of the world, not the mental anguish of sin, just your regular, everyday, old-fashioned, physical pain.

In VERY large amounts.

Story time:

I have a history of pain in my legs. That history came back to haunt me about a month ago...(Yes, I know, it's quite the delay but I am also working as a full-time missionary, which takes a lot of time.)  Throughout that day, the pain in my knees had been getting steadily worse. I took some ibuprofen and hoped it would go away or lessen to a more manageable level, like it usually does.

But it didn't, it got worse, till I couldn't bear it any longer. The pain felt like tiny knives jabbing underneath my kneecap every time I moved.

Which resulted in me having a late-night ER visit with one of my companions.

Not fun for him. I have picture evidence!~

Long story short:  I spent eight hours in the ER for a 20 minute visit, a couple x-rays, and for them to tell me I needed to see an orthopedist.  A week later, my appointment with the orthopedist came through and he told me I had Patellar Tendinitis.  Something which indicates poor muscles around the knees, which might explain the whole 'chronic knee pain' thing.

Well, if nothing else, it was a good experience and I managed to talk to a few people about the gospel!~

Thinking back on it, though I'm still feeling some pain in my leg, there are many ways this character building experience can be applied to the gospel, but the one that I would liken it unto would be this:

Repentance.

That's a big word.  It's a scary word for some people.

But it's not supposed to be.

Pain can follow a variety of different paths but when we sin, we feel guilt for what we have done.  I like the way that a certain Elder put it in his medical parable (which is beyond compare) that you can read here,

"Sin is the medical term we use for both the cause, and symptoms of 'Imperfectia.' The first time you exhibit an imperfect attribute, behavior, or tendency, and allow that to influence your decisions, it is a sign of a spiritual malfunction that is inherent with humans. In short, when you give in to weakness, and either do something wrong, or fail to do something right, it damages your spirit and the scar tissue causes you pain. This pain is known as "guilt."

"I feel fine now though, are you sure it isn't gone?", you respond.

"Unfortunately, it's not that simple. With something like high blood pressure, which can be triggered by a lack of exercise, its effects can be reversed when you begin exercising again. But once you've contracted Imperfectia, you cannot be cured by resuming a good life. Unless every element if imperfection in you is eliminated, your spirit will continue to have occasional failures, which will in turn lead to more pain."

Though sometimes, I feel like I've gone beyond, the pain reminds me that it's still there.

If it's not treated by repentance, confessing and forsaking said sin, then it festers until it becomes a gaping wound. 

Unless I start ignoring it, thinking, "It's not too bad, I can manage with this."  The sin holds me back and eventually, I forget about it.  I begin changing my thinking to accommodate,

"This is normal"

"This is the way things are."

The pain which was once NOT normal, which I had avoided, becomes a part of me and I begin to not want to part with it. It becomes part of my identity and I don't know what I would do without it.  I become dependent on it.  It becomes my crutch.  I no longer am free and I hobble around yelling to everyone, "This is the way I am!"

Sometimes, life forces us down, shoving us to the ground.  We feel like our enemies surround us and we have absolutely no way out.  Occasionally, all we can do is let ourselves be taken down.

I remember, this one video game, Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core the main character Zack Fair was trying his best to save a friend and get back to those he cared about.

***Spoiler Alert*** (If you care)

"Those wings... I want them too..."-Zack Fair

He succeeds in saving his friend, yet he gets critically injured.  He'd been trying so hard to become a hero to his friends and those around him, but life had shut him down.

As he was lying there dying, he saw his mentor, teacher, and friend, Angeal(who had died previously) flying in the sky.  All he could do was look up and say, "Those wings... I want them too..."

*** End Spoilers ***

When we're on our back, we look upward, seeing those who are free and, like Zack, we want that freedom.

We want to be free from the confines and the constant struggle of trying to survive(At least that's how I feel sometimes).  For me that freedom is found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

"Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate. The key is labeled repentance. If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you [down]. The twin principles of repentance and forgiveness exceed in strength the awesome power of the tempter."  -Boyd K. Packer  "Cleansing the Inner Vessel"

Because we are imperfect, in this life we have pain, and we can either let that pain rule us and force us down a path we don't want to go, or we can learn and grow from that pain, trying to forsake our sins and bad habits and become better than the man(or woman) we were yesterday.

When we use the Atonement of Jesus Christ to turn that pain into progress, we take advantage of an infinite power source to carry us further in our own goals.

Yes, I know, this is meant to motivate us to work out, but I would liken it to spiritual growth.

That guilt we feel doesn't need to hold us back. We can learn from it, forsake it, then flex our spiritual muscles and prepare to fly. We don't need to be earthbound. We're children of a HEAVENLY FATHER.  Why let our sins and our pain hold us back?

I admit, sometimes, it's not that simple. There are some things which we cannot change, there are some things which are natural or inborn, within us...

But do we give in to our desires? Do we throw discipline out the window? If our physical muscles are screaming for relief but our workout set isn't done, do we stop?

Or on the flip-side, if my knee is damaged do I keep using it as I had, before it is healed and risk further injury?

If there's anything that I know I have a testimony of, it's that Jesus Christ has felt everything that we have and can help strengthen us in our weakness if we let him.

All we need to do is ask.  

If you feel like you are too unworthy to ask, too scarred by past mistakes, too far gone, or even just scared for whatever reason, remember this little quote from one of our Apostles,

Taken from his talk, "Like a Broken Vessel"

To Learn more about Jeffery R. Holland, click here!~

To learn more about Boyd K. Packer, click here!~

What I have learned on my mission

First off, thanks for reading my blog post. :)

I think the biggest lesson I have learned on my mission is one I already knew.
"But how could you learn something you already knew?"
Well, my testimony of this principle has been strengthened.  The principles I have learned on my mission all seem to point to my understanding of this singular principle:

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation.

I pray as I write this blog post that the Spirit of God will confirm to you the truths of His gospel.  I also pray that you will allow my words to strengthen your Faith in Jesus Christ, and motivate you to take action and walk in the ways of our Savior Jesus Christ.

As I have been serving in the Washington DC North Mission, I have come to understand that this life can be difficult. As a 19-21 year old, I have talked with people who have questions and/or problems, and I would listen to them and they would often expect me to have something to answer or solve them. Some struggle financially, some might feel offended by another.  Some might experience sorrow, grief or pain. Some experience all three of those.  Some struggle with depression and some have addictions.  Some feel they are not good enough, some feel lonely.  Some are hungry.  Some are homeless.  Some are cast out and rejected.  Some feel like they were treated unfairly. Some deal with other hardships mortality has to offer.

If you have felt any of these ways before, I solemnly testify: Jesus Christ loves you. 
He knows what you went through, what you are going through and what you will go through.
He lived a mortal life with mortal life feelings and appetites and temptations.
He suffered all the pains, afflictions, sicknesses and temptations of every kind in the Garden of Gethsemane (Alma 7:11-12), and was crucified for our sake. (Mark 15:22,25)

The Prophet Isaiah says "with His stripes, we are healed." (Isaiah 53:3-6).
He also says "though your sins be as SCARLET, they shall be as white as snow." (Isaiah 1:18)

As one of our hymns declares: “We may not know, we cannot tell, What pains he had to bear, But we believe it was for us He hung and suffered there” (“There Is a Green Hill Far Away,” Hymns, no. 194).

Moroni says "Come unto Christ, and be perfected in him..." (Moroni 10:32)

Perfected? Really? When I am so imperfect and I fall so much?
You have to believe and follow.

One of my favorite Children's songs says "What does the Father ask of us?  What do the scriptures say?

Have FAITH.  Have HOPE.  
Live like His Son.  
Help others on their way.

lifting burdens

Press on and don't give up.  

Commit yourselves to follow Him.  

This brings true happiness.

On a lighter note, we helped someone transform their basement! 

The Savior sees what we can become before we become it.  With His divine help, we can change our lives.

Similarly, the Homeowner here had a vision of what his basement could look like so that he could host his family while they were in town.  He couldn't do it himself, so he asked us, the missionaries to step in and help.  Likewise the Savior won't help us if we don't want him to.  We need to put forth effort. We need to be asking for his help.  We need to be consistently asking what we can do more to change.  Not all at once, but little by little, things will become more organized and clean.  

Doing this made me feel like a guy from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Here are some pictures of the basement. 

Before

 After 

What a transformation! :)

We kept asking "okay, what's next?" after accomplishing a task.  We can do the same in our lives to have the gospel transform us.

Here are the basic steps.

Through Christ we CAN be cleansed from sin.

1. Have Faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement and seek to strengthen that Faith.

2. Repent of your sins.

3. Be baptized by immersion for the remission of sins.

4. Receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

5. Endure to the end, continue in the Faith, repent of sins, and strive to keep the commandments of God.

My Testimony

I have felt His love.  I have been transformed and healed and born again.  I know He lives, and I have Faith that He can do all things.  I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is for us now. I am not perfect, but I rely on Him who is perfect to continue to transform me, and help me to be happy.  He commands all men everywhere to come unto Him, to repent, and keep His commandments.  Those who do these things will be happy.  I know because I have done them and it brings me happiness every time.

Jesus Christ is real and his arms of mercy are outstretched toward you.  Press on with Faith in Him. Transformation doesn't happen all at once.  Be patient with yourself and others.  

Here is a reminder that we all need:

God will always, always, always love you.

Here's a talk I love by Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  CLICK HERE to watch, listen and read.

Lessons Learned from Lindsey

A friend of mine once asked me a couple of months ago, "What does the Atonement mean to you?"

At first, I thought, "That's easy, it means everything!"

Then I realized that I couldn't effectively communicate my feelings regarding the Atonement of Jesus Christ .

I had to think about it a lot.  I tried over and over to put it into definite and simple words, but they wouldn't come as easily as I thought they would, but with my Zone Leaders Workshop and a little inspirational Fireside from Lindsey Stirling(My mission allows me to rub shoulders with celebrities sometimes more than once!). I finally have my answer.

About a month before the Lindsey Stirling Fireside, our Zone Leaders set up a workshop for us to learn titled, "Lay it at the Saviors Feet".  An awesome Sister Missionary(Sister Rowley) wrote about her own experience from it here.

The workshop was about us learning to lay our regrets, our problems and our worries at the Saviors feet. 

When they asked us to think about our regrets and what we could have done better,  I couldn't think about anything I honestly regretted, sure, things that I could have done better, but life is a work in progress!~

A verse of scripture that did come to mind was when Peter asked Jesus what John the Beloved would do,

"If I will that he[John] tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me." (John 21:22)

In this case it said to me, "Well, what does it matter if I want someone else to take the spotlight or to be center stage? Right now I want you to follow me." (I realize it's a bit out of context and in reality Jesus was talking about how Peter was to follow the Savior in martyrdom, but at this time, that was what the verse was saying to me)

I pondered on that for a couple days.  What does it mean to follow the savior?

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is something which strengthens me.  It cleanses me of my sins and regrets.  The Savior felt everything that we have felt, as it says in the Book of Mormon, "...that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people..." (Alma 7:12)

These are the facts of the Atonement but my friend had asked me, what the Atonement meant to me... which I was still struggling to put into words and as Albert Einstien said,

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." 

This is where Lindsey Stirling comes in.

Picture taken from mormon.org

Let it be known, I now appreciate Lindsey Stirling. She is a fantastic public speaker.  This past Wednesday, she came to the Visitors' Center(on her day off, I might add) to speak those who wanted to listen.  There's a Deseret New's article on what happened 'here'.

Lindsey opened the fireside with this statement, "What does it mean to finish at the wrong finish line?  Absolutely nothing."

She went on to relate to us one of her experiences as a cross-country runner in high school, in typical Lindsey flair(I can't really communicate that in plain text... So I'll just give a summary).

In this particular race, the men's and women's courses were right next to one another.  She had been running near the front of the pack, yet she had lost sight of the lead runners.  Soon she caught sight of the finish line and ran with all her might!  Though to her dismay, she quickly found out that it was the men's finish and she had just led everyone who was following her to it.

There were many interpretations you could get out of the story but she went on to tell us about how our own definition of a finish line might be a little different from Gods definition for us.
  
Next, she told us about her experience in America's Got Talent, when she auditioned after thinking and praying long and hard about it.

She got past the auditions and in her own words said, "After that, I started attaching my happiness to doing well[in America's Got Talent], just getting to the next round, saying to my Heavenly Father, 'If I just make it to the next round, then I'll be happy'"

To finish her story, she told us about the end of her Live Television Debut.  I don't remember the exact words which she used but it was heart-wrenching enough.  The celebrity judges gave her 'the giant X' halfway through her performance then afterwards proceeded to tell her she would never amount to anything.

I'd read about her experience before she spoke to us but coming from her in person, it became a real event to me. I hurt for her.

Lindsey's confidence was shattered and she felt like she would never perform again.  To finish her story, she related a quote from a movie, "Cool Runnings", (I've never seen it, but apparently it's super good stuff). 

Coach Irv was a four-time Olympic gold medalist yet for his fifth, he cheated, was caught and had his medals stripped from him.  When he was asked by his trainees years later why he cheated, he said about the medals and their confidence in themselves, "If you're not enough without it, then you're not enough with it." 

Lindsey wanted us to understand that our sense of self-worth can't come from the world.  We can't attach that self-worth to something which is transient.

She then told us about her service as a Sister Missionary.

Taken from Mormon.org

"Confidence comes from the Spirit", she said, then she referenced D&C 121:45, which states,

"...let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God..." 

You might be wondering, "Is he just including all these references to Lindsey Stirling so he can brag about it?"

No, I am not.

I am including this because of what happened after the fireside which allowed me to state in simple terms what the atonement means to me.


You see, I haven't had much interaction with celebrities of high caliber(big surprise, right?).  Well afterwards, she was basically mobbed (in the nicest sense of the word) by her besotted fans, who rushed up to her like children who had just heard that cotton candy was free at the Carnival for only five minutes.(I really wish I got a picture of that...).  I stood back and watched.

What really surprised me was that Lindsey didn't act annoyed, didn't tense up, didn't do anything which told me that she was frustrated with her fans.

She did the exact opposite.

She posed patiently with each person.  She tried to talk with them(sort of).  She kept posing with people once she had been told that the Visitors' Center was closing.  The lights were turned off and everybody was told to get going and even as she was leaving to the backstage, she still took pictures, apologizing profusely that she had to leave.

It was interesting.  Yes, you can make the argument that she's a celebrity, she's just doing her job, but for me, it was the catalyst of my thought process.

As I was watching all of these people, a scripture came to mind about the Savior when he visited the people of America,

"...he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them."  3 Nephi 17:21

Lindsey, whether she realized it or not, was emulating the Savior(from my viewpoint).

As Mormons, we are supposed to remember the Savior at all times and in all places, trying to be like him and do what he would do.  Earlier in the fireside, she had referenced "The Lion King", when Mufasa came to Simba in a vision telling him,

"You have forgotten who you are, and therefore, forgotten me."

We are to remember that we are children of our Heavenly Father and that he loves us.  His Son, Jesus Christ, came to the Earth not only to show us an example of how to live but to perform the Atonement, to make sure that we could return to our Father in Heaven.

From that, my mind shifted into high-gear, jumping from idea to idea like a kangaroo hyped-up on caffeine-

1. As we remember who we are, we remember our Father in Heaven.
2. We remember the Savior and try to be like him.
3. Memories are important
4. As we make choices and learn from the mistakes we remember, character is formed
5. Confidence is gained as we follow the commandments and as we, "...let virtue garnish our thoughts..."
6. The Atonement helps us change ourselves so that we can be confident in the presence of God.
7. Missionaries are super-confident sometimes. (okay, pretty much all the time, at least to the public...)
8. Eureka.

To me, choices have become a pretty big thing in my life as I've written before.  I've always got a choice, though it may be more difficult, depending on the circumstances.

Then it made sense.  The atonement means so much to me because I can choose.  I make mistakes.  I mess up.  I trip and fall, then get back up.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ means I can make choices in confidence.  I am free to act.  I don't have to be afraid that I'll be shut out of the presence of God because I made a mistake. I know that as long as I am sincerely trying to move forward and take the appropriate steps of repentance, I can be confident before the Lord.  I can't choose my consequences, true, but I can choose the best course of action according to my beliefs.  I can make choices to determine my character and try emulate Jesus Christ.  The Atonement means that I can one day stand before Heavenly Father and, "though [my] sins be as scarlet", because of Jesus Christ "[my sins] shall be as white as snow" Isaiah 1:18

It was a fantastic step forward for me~

So, yeah, it was good.~


In other news:

So not only was Wednesday a happy day, it was also a sad one; it was transfer meeting! My trainer, Elder Radford finished his two years of service and headed home.  My trainee, Elder Elliott is training a brand new missionary, fresh from the MTC whose name is Elder Hamblin.  I've included a picture of all four of us in one final shot...  A lot of people whom I respected and looked up to finished their service on that day.

(Left to right)Elder Hamblin, Elder Radford, Me(!), and Elder Elliott

This was the friend of mine who supplied the picture of Lindsey Stirling speaking at the Visitors' Center.

It's been a while since I've seen her so it was great!~

So to sum things up: 

Due to a lesson which my leaders gave to us and a small fireside by Lindsey Stirling, I can say with confidence why the Atonement of Jesus Christ means so much to me.

Enjoy a complimentary video about the Atonement where the Apostles testify of Him!~

There is always a choice...

When I was younger (Age:9-12ish) and getting angry, I used to yell at speak very politely with my mother,

"You're making my ANGRY!"

"I can't make you do anything," she would respond, "that's your choice!"

Looking back, I've come to appreciate the fact that, though we may not have much control over the circumstances we are in, we always have choices, no matter the situation.

That small lesson from my mother had lasting consequences.

I know that because of that, I can choose for myself how I react, even if the situation is not in my favor.

Even if the world seems like it's falling apart.

Even if my body is fighting against me.

I have a choice.

This is a chance given to me by my Father in Heaven.

My choice is to get up when I feel down, to continue when all seems lost.  I want to keep going, to keep moving, I don't want to stay still and admit defeat.  I don't want to be beaten by the natural man, my internal voice which says, 'I can't'.

Sometimes it's a battle, sometimes, an easy victory, but every step forward is in the right direction.

I know that my Father in Heaven has given me the opportunity to change, to choose and if we truly want it bad enough, we can move forward because,

If we want to progress.  We can push on.  God will always put at our fingertips resources that we can use to change ourselves or use so that we can continue to progress.  We just need to look around us.

If we want to.  That's the wonderful thing about the plan that our heavenly father has given us.

Even if we no more desire to change and/or progress, our Heavenly Father will help us find the proper tools.  There's a scripture that I think about whenever pause to ponder about change/progression:

"...behold, if ye will awake[!] and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can believe..."  -Full Reference-

If we believe that we can do it, or at the very least try to believe, it could happen! (Believe in the me that Believes in YOU! [A gold star to whoever gets that reference])

I'm not saying that every challenge can be overcome by pure willpower or the resources that God puts at our disposal.  Sometimes, we have to simply endure.

Just like Elder Richard J. Maynes said in his speech, The Strength to Endure,

"Many of the challenges we face in life can be solved and overcome; however, others may be difficult to understand and impossible to overcome and will be with us until we pass on to the next life. As we temporarily endure the challenges we can solve and as we continue to endure the challenges we cannot solve, it is important to remember that the spiritual strength we develop will help us successfully endure all the challenges we face in life." [Emphasis Added]

By enduring our Earthly Trials, we grow spiritually.  We become more than we were before.

I guess one of the tricks of life is determining which trials are the ones that we can change and which ones we can't.

A mental illness or chronic disease is one of those things that I don't think you can change, regardless of how much you rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ(which is there to help strengthen us anyways). As I heard a fellow missionary recently describe it,

"Jesus is not some magical repairman who you call when something is broken(whether it be physical or just the situation).  He is our Savior and Redeemer."

We can call on Him when we are in trouble, it's true, but he is with us from the beginning and will strengthen us to face our problems way before it even comes to the point where all we have left is Him.

I'm not a physician or a psychiatrist so I'm just relying on my own perceptions (so I could be wrong), but from what I've seen is that God gives us trials based on us individually. They are very personal to us, and are there to help us become stronger and learn to rely on Him.

Because we've overcome those trials and gotten stronger, I think it must be Human Nature to want to help others surpass similar circumstances.

We want to help others who are going through those hard times, but we can only see their troubles through the filter of our own experiences.  That doesn't mean that we do not have something constructive that could help them and their problem.  We most certainly could but everyone is different(If only just a little bit)!~

We don't know their thoughts, we might only be seeing the tip of the iceberg, for all we know, they could be fighting the hardest battle of their life.

That's why I think it's important that we do not compare our individual trials to another persons.  It can lead to thoughts such as, "Why is this so hard for me when others can do it so easily," (for those undergoing said trial) to "Everybody else is so weak, I went through it and I'm fine!" (for those undergoing a similar trial, but past it with little effort).

From what I've seen, the best help someone can give is just listening, giving support, and being there for someone. (Of course, everybody is different so that might not work for someone else; Remember the Languages of Love!)  Sometimes, well-meaning advice can be harmful without us realizing it.  We might not have a grasp on the entire situation.

I really like the way this comic below portrays advice given without fully understanding the situation, (I think it was specifically made with reference to Depression)

Personally, I think advice is always welcome[!]~ but sometimes it's important to try and see it from another point of view before passing on the advice...

To Conclude:

I know that we have a choice.  It may not be a choice that we like, but it's always going to be there. I know if we are in too much pain, we can cry out to our Heavenly Father and He will send help.  He wants us to succeed in this life and in the life to come.

I do know that we can look up during our trials, our personal tests, and search our hearts for the answer,

because we are all Children of our Heavenly Father[God] and he will never leave us comfortless.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Complimentary Video Excerpts from Jeffrey R. Hollands' Talk :  "An High Priest of Good Times to Come"

Prone to Leave the God I love

Ever felt like this guy?  This is probably how it will be when I get back from my mission and see my parents again.  Big embrace of a hug.  My mom might tell me to get a haircut if it's like this guy's hair though.  Nice mullet!  Oh yeah! Business in the front, party in the back!  I got this from the church website. :)  I have fun sometimes.  I hope this made you laugh.  Laughing is healthy.

Before this life we lived with God.
After this life we will meet God.

This life is the ONLY TIME in our existence that we are separated from God.  We can feel him near when we pray.  We can feel His spirit when we read from the scriptures or when we are at church, but we are not physically with God.

Prone to wander Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the God I love.  Here's my heart, O take and seal it.  Seal it for thy courts above.

This is the chorus to one of my favorite songs, "Come thou Fount of Every Blessing."  As I wrote the title, I couldn't help but write the next line.  "tune my heart to seek thy grace."

check this out!                           

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount I'm fixed upon it
Mount of thy redeeming love

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by thy help I come
And I hope by thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home

Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

O to grace how great a debtor 

daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, 

bind my wandering heart to thee

CHORUS:

Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love!
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above!

My knowledge of the Plan of Salvation has helped me understand that I came here to receive a body and to make choices.  Although I am separated from my Heavenly Father for a time, I can feel him near me when I make righteous decisions.  When I make choices that my Heavenly Father would not want me to make, I feel separated from Him even more.  I feel I am as a sheep and "wander" from the fold of God.  I am so glad I have come to the knowledge of a Savior who gave his life, so I could get up, brush off, and try again to live a Christlike-life.   If YOU have ever felt like you have wandered from the fold of the Good Shepherd, then please... please know that you are loved and invited to come back.  There is a way back.  It is the only way back and I highly suggest it.  Seek out the Savior.  Learn what faith, repentance and forgiveness really are.  I know that the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real, and because of it, we can return to God again.

Alma says: God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.  (Alma 42:23)

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.  (Articles of Faith 1:3)

All mankind includes you. :)  I invite you to listen to the Holy Ghost which God gives us because He loves us.  Listen to His promptings.  Listen to... the MISSIONARIES! :)  I love being a missionary.

This is my invitation to all.  God loves you.  Sometimes when life gets rough, it makes it harder to feel His love... but sometimes God allows life to get rough, so we can turn to Him... humble ourselves... and choose to trust Him in all things and feel of the love He has for us.  

If you feel "prone to wander," keep trying to come back.  You can.

We will meet God again.  Of this I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

-Elder Matthew H. Hart

There's nothing stressful about Jesus Christ

So as I started writing this blog post, I started writing about the stress that comes with being a missionary... but now I realize as I've finished my blog post, that it's more about how I have found peace from the scriptures.
If you are living a busy life like me, you are probably experiencing some sort of stress.
If you are a child of God (trust me on this, you are), then you can find peace in Jesus Christ.

What helps me is knowing that we are not alone.  Jesus promised his disciples,

 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."   

When I read that in my personal study, He is speaking to me and I feel my Savior's love.
St John 14:18   ...John 14:26-27 are also good.  Those verses talk about the Holy Ghost, which is how I feel my Savior's love often times.  :)

For some, stress might come and go while for others, it might be pretty consistent, but in this journey of life, it's pretty hard to miss the pit-stops of stress.

As a missionary, I experience stress.  Stress makes me tired, upset, worried, confused, anxious, and depressed.  Usually not all at once.  That would be bad.  My companion would have to call the mission president.

Sometimes it comes from what others say to me.

• I want to talk to people about the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Some people don't want to listen, others do want to listen, and then there are those who want to tell me what I'm doing is wrong, that I'm too young to be doing it, or I'm in the wrong community.  

• Sometimes my leaders say things to me that give me stress.  Sometimes that stress is needed for me to grow.  I can recognize that.  Usually we don't recognize it right away when they say the thing that makes us stressed.  When a leader says "You're not doing this right," or "You should be doing this instead of this," it is tough for me to handle in the moment.  Occasionally I can handle it then, especially if it is said with love, but usually understanding and growth comes from after I am cut down.

Sometimes it comes from what I do or do not. (as Yoda says).

• As a missionary, THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO AND KEEP TRACK OF!  It blows my mind how organized everything has to be.  Keeping up with the workload and assignments is tough sometimes, but I remember that it's the Lord's work, and it's not about me, and I keep going.

• I am somewhat of a worry-wart.  I am constantly forgetting where I put things I need, and I am constantly asking myself "Am I doing all I can to serve the Lord effectively?" Improvement doesn't come all at once and does not come without some sort of stress.  Improvement takes humility.

• I rely on the Lord to know what to say and ask to each person.  Each one of Heavenly Father's children are unique and their needs are different, but I know that whatever their needs may be, the Savior and His teachings will help everyone.

This is a scripture from the Book of Mormon that helps me understand that stress isn't a new concept in missionary work.
Alma was doing missionary work

27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

The next verse reminds me that I have it good.

29 And we have entered into their houses and taught them, and we have taught them in their streets; yea, and we have taught them upon their hills; and we have also entered into their temples and their synagogues and taught them; and we have been cast out, and mocked, and spit upon, and smote upon our cheeks; and we have been stoned, and taken and bound with strong cords, and cast into prison; and through the power and wisdom of God we have been delivered again.

I suppose these missionaries experienced more stress than I am having.  I am grateful for the stress I am going through.  I know there is a cause for it all.

30 And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some.

This is why I'm out here.  I really don't care what I have to go through.  It probably won't be as much as Alma, but if there's even just one.  One person.  One person I can help realize how he or she can return to live with God again... that would make me so happy.  Just one.
Doctrine and Covenants 18:15-16

I LOVE THE BOOK OF MORMON!  I am sharing my testimony of the Book of Mormon with as many people as I can, even if it might get a bit stressful. "Read this I pray thee" (Isaiah 29:12)
 

I am grateful that my trials are not as challenging as Alma's or as Jesus' or many other prophets and missionaries of old.  Whenever I get stressed out, I think, "Well, I haven't been cast into prison for preaching the gospel yet like these guys have in the Book of Mormon."

I don't know what you have gone through in your life, what you are going through, or what trials lie ahead for you, but I know someone who does.

Jesus Christ was there for us, He is there for us, and He will always be there for us. He knows what we're going through, WHATEVER it may be.

 11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Alma 7:11-12 says that he DOES know all that we go through in this life individually so that he might know how to comfort us, and so that he could pay the price we could never pay for our sins.

He yearns to help us with his arms outstretched.  I love this scripture in Alma chapter 5 
 33 Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you.
Peace and rest come with accepting the Savior's invitation.
side effects may include being cast out, mocked, spit upon, smitten upon your cheeks, stoned, taken and bound, and cast into prison... nah just kidding! :)  ...but seriously... through the power and wisdom of God, you will be delivered from all side effects and stress.

I leave you with this last scripture that might trump all the other scriptures about easing stress.

St Matthew 11:28-30

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I know that's truth.

Thank you for reading my blog post.  Merry Christmas! :)